Promoting healthy sexuality through sex positive education and activism

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Passion for Pornography!

Did you know that 68% of young people with penises and 18% of young people with vaginas use porn at least once a week? In fact 85% of young phallused folkes and nearly half of vagined people watch porn as a monthly activity.  This means that a whole lot of people are watching other people get it on, and that is awesome!  Considering the large amount of people choose to watch porn it is not all that surprising that more and more people are becoming interested in making their own amateur pornography.  Before we all find some friends and grab a camera let’s cover some legalities and rules for making porn.

1) CONSENT.  Everyone involved in the making of the porn must give consent, to not only whatever sexual acts that will be performed on and with one another, but all parties must consent to being recorded or photographed whilst taking part in said sexytime.

2) Laws on pornography vary from state to state.  The majority of states have consensus for certain types of porn that are illegal which include beastiality and child-pornography.  The UK has a law banning “extreme porn”.   Extreme porn makes pornographic materials illegal that involve harm to an individual such as rape, include a human corpse, beastiality, and anything with children.

3) BEWARE OF THE CLOUD.  There has been a great deal of talk in the media about celebrities private images being hacked into and spread all over the internet.  A movie starring Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel came out this past summer called “Sex Tape”.  It is the story of a couple who makes a sex tape together and then they discover that it has accidentally been sent to people.  Point being, if there is a picture or a video there is always the chance that someone could see it.  If we choose to make an explicit video, people will see it.  Once it is on the internet it will forever be out there somewhere in the world of data.

In short, porn is rocks.  We can learn a lot and enjoy ourselves.  Plenty of people watch porn, and if we choose to make our own, we need to follow the guidelines above and be smart about what we do.

START YOUR YEAR OFF RIGHT WITH SEX OUT LOUD

So it’s a new school year, and that means it’s a time of new classes, new people, and a new you! Now is the time to get that crazy haircut you’ve been dying to get, to finally nail down those awesome study habits you’ve been promising yourself you’ll adopt, and, most importantly, time to join that super cool student org on campus you’ve been thinking of all summer. That’s right: Sex Out Loud is looking for new volunteers, and that means you!

Now I know what you’re thinking: “Ew, why would I volunteer my time to help people when there’s nothing in it for me?” Well, there are actually a lot of perks to spending some down time helping out at Sex Out Loud.

First off: the staff. Sex Out Loud is chocked full of fun and outgoing people that are super open to talk about whatever. Whether you want a friend to talk about your sex life with or you just want to bitch about the three papers you have due next week, the staff at Sex Out Loud is always around the office to chat about whatever. Not convinced? Just check out the “About Us” section of the website to see some bios on Madison’s coolest sex educators.

Plus, volunteering with Sex Out Loud is an enriching and educational experience. Because of the open environment that Sex Out Loud facilitates, you will constantly find yourself meeting people of different backgrounds and beliefs, which can help you grasp a new outlook on things. That paired with Sex Out Loud’s new mentor program, allowing volunteers to work side-by-side with staff on research projects associated with everything from sexual health to pleasure, volunteering with us is guaranteed to educate you, or at least teach you a few new dirty words.

Last but not least, and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this, but Sex Out Loud hosts some awesome events on campus, and volunteering is a great way to assure that you get yourself a front row seat at all of our events. We always need help setting up on big event days, and being there right as the event starts can set you up with the best seat for the movie screening or even some one-on-one time with some awesome sexual health experts.

Needless to say, volunteering with Sex Out Loud is definitely worth your time. But don’t take it from us, come in and see for yourself.

About Edible Aphrodisiacs…

Oysters. Chocolate. The horn of an African Rhino. The list of aphrodisiacs goes on and on, but even in the 21st century the jury is out on which ones work, if any. Well, dear readers, after thousands of years of edible enhancements, we’re here to give you the skinny on all things aphrodisiac.

First, let’s break down the definition: It’s named after the Greek goddess of gettin’ it on, Aphrodite. Good ol’ Wikipedia defines it as a substance that increases sexual desire. In other words, an aphrodisiac is some sort of a stuff that makes us horny. Pretty straightforward.

So what sorts of things are thought to be aphrodisiacs? Turns out there are some common themes. Throughout history, especially back when globalization was a relatively new fad, when people came across new foods from foreign lands, they were commonly thought to increase arousal. Past examples include basil, pomegranates, chocolate (which persists to this day for other reasons), and potatoes. That’s right, folks. Potatoes.

Historically, it was also trendy for people to try things that resemble naughty bits, and sometimes naughty bits themselves (see: tiger penis, fish eggs). The former often includes phallic and vulvatic (coined that word just now) foods such as carrots, rhino horns, and oysters. Yummy.*

Finally, there’s chocolate, and other foods that are just plain delicious. A common thought seems to be that if you stimulate your senses and tingle your taste buds, other things might get tingly as well.

Great. Now that we know the classic examples, what does the science and evidence say about their efficacy? It turns out that… no. No foods have really been shown to increase libido in any capacity. Nor do they affect fertility very much. But then how is it that people have relied on these things for centuries? There’s got to be something behind it all.  Well, let’s think about it.

Firstly, eating can be sexy! Chocolate covered strawberries, anyone? Lots of sexy time happenings can involve our mouths, and if we’re in the mood, our imagination can take that [INSERT FOOD ITEM HERE] and go nuts with it. Maybe the carrots and oysters nudge the imagination in the right direction, or maybe the sight of fried chicken and kumquats just gets us all hot and bothered. Either way, it’s a win for everyone involved!

Secondly, we’ve got the power! So here’s a fun fact: the biggest predictor of having a fun sexual experience is whether or not the parties involved want to have sex.  If we’re using an aphrodisiac with our partner for the purpose of gettin’ down with the get-down, then it follows – actually, it precedes – that we in fact want to have sex with said partner. And if we really want to do it, and we take the time to feel comfortable and happy with our partners – given a few specific exceptions (e.g., erectile dysfunction, inebriation, hormone therapy) –  we and our partners will make it happen.  So in reality, the aphrodisiac is actually more of a product of our desire as opposed to a cause or “stimulant.” QED, we’ve had the desire and ability in us all along! Huzzah!

 

* This is of course, a joke. We all know carrots are overrated, mussels >> oysters, and rhino poaching is bad, m’kay?

Sex Out Loud’s guide to gettin’ it on without gettin’ it in

Sex is defined differently for each individual; some people consider oral and anal penetration as intercourse, there are those who see kinky play (sometimes without genital touching) as sex, while others strictly see vaginal penetration as fornication. And that’s a good thing! We can all choose the definitions that work best for us.

No matter our definition, there are people who choose to abstain from certain activities, or whatever their definition of “sex” might be. We may choose to engage in everything but penetrative sexual intercourse. We might be saving certain acts for a special someone or spouse. And we might even want to abstain from sexual activity altogether.

The choice to abstain from different sexual activities is something everyone has the right to decide for themselves. Although it may seem inconvenient at times, there are a lot of options available provided we still want to get it on. Here are some tips to get it on without getting it in!

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Own It: The Queef

Let’s face it folks, every now and then things happen that we just aren’t expecting to ever happen.  Sometimes we meet someone who isn’t obsessed with J-Law, sometimes we find a hard gnarly thing when we bite into our burgers, sometimes Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t win the Oscar (oh wait we were all expecting that one), and sometimes…we queef.

To get the giggles out of our systems, let’s just throw the word out there a few times. QUEEF QUEEF QUEEF.  Ok sweet, so let’s start with the basics, what is a queef?  Well, when inserting an object into a vagina, the rush of air that comes along with the insertion is forced to exit.  We’ve been learning it in science class since high school, matter cannot be destroyed.  The air that goes into the vagina cannot just disappear, and so it comes out, often resulting in an audible squeak commonly referred to as a “vaginal fart” or a queef.  This is something dreaded by many people with vaginas, but honestly it’s something that you just have to roll with, because at some point it could happen to any vagina.

 

But, let’s be real, we aren’t always super comfy and confident during sex, it’s a vulnerable time, so let’s go over a few ways that we can recover from what can initially seem as something embarrassing.

1. Add some external noise. So we’ve already established that queefs can be loud.  Well, what do you do when you have a pimple? You cover it up.  The same can go for a queef.  By turning on a sexy time playlist, popping in a movie, or even playing some soothing rainforest sounds in the background of our sexual encounter, the noise produced by a queef can be completely hidden.  Or, if you don’t have access to any of those things, letting out a passionate moan or throwing out some dirty talk can also distract from the queef’s roar.

2. Switch up the position. Ok, we’ve tried adding some music to remedy the situation, but maybe that is really cramping our style; we want to have sex in silence and hear only the gasping breaths of our partner but don’t want to worry about a queef sliding out.  Well, maybe it’s time to switch up the sex position.  Rear entry, commonly referred to as “Doggy Style”, can be totally awesome for tons of reasons (request our Pleasure II program to learn more!), but it also will make you more prone to queefing.  It allows for a much deeper and quicker penetration, pushing more air into the vagina, and thus more opportunities for queefs.  Instead, try switching up the position to missionary, side entry, or receptive partner on top to alleviate the issue.

3. Own it. At the end of the day, the queef is something that cannot always be helped.  That said, it does not have to be something to be embarrassed about.  If you find yourself in a situation where you are having the hottest sex of your life and a queef rears its ugly head during it, keep on going and laugh it off.  If you don’t let it bother you, odds are it won’t bother the person you are with.  You just gotta brush the dirt off your shoulders and let the fun continue.

Happy Queefing!